understanding...

so today was full of emotions and the whole situation will be full of emotions for a long time to come. i don't understand certain choices made, i don't understand certain positions given to some people, i don't understand why certain things were done the way they were done...but then i think of the phrase "everything happens for a reason" as much as i don't want to believe that right now i have to keep telling myself that. i don't think i will ever understand certain things that happened today and i have to learn to be ok with that. all i can do is hope and pray that certain people understand the choices they made today and i hope and pray they made the choices for the right reasons...for the camp and for the campers-not personal reasons. my only hope, my only prayer is for understanding and peace for all involved, for trust to be built, or rebuilt among different people where trust might have been messed up today, comfort for those hurting and disappointed...my position on staff for the summer of 08 will be PUF, but not only puf, but also an example and i hope and pray that i am a good example, that others can see that my actions speak louder than words...

please remember that "everything happens for a reason" and the best way to gain understanding is talking with the big man upstairs-even if the answers are not what we want when we want them...

love you all...and you know who you are!

good night and happy easter!

today is the day...

so today is interview day...the day where a group of people that i love and respect will determine where i will serve best for the summer of 08...either as puf, or another staff position, or possibly just as a vc...i dont know. my stomach has been turning tricks for the past week and is worse than ever this morning. i rode up to camp with josh and drew last night and we stayed at gary's so on top of the nervousness i was sleeping in a new bed in a new room...this will sound arrogant but i dont think im nervous about not getting hired, im just nervous about where i will be put. i have said over and over that i didn't want puf and then now i have realized that's where i think i serve best but who knows...the interview team may have been talking to God even more than i have and they know what's best...just send up some calming prayers for me and some prayers for the interview team as well as everyone else applying...

blah!

it's only a week away...

so by this time next week, my fate at camp will be in the hands of the interview team. i completly trust them and their descision because i know that what happens-#1 is what God wants and #2 is what will be the best for me in the long run...it's just really tough not knowing and having these new names with no faces to go along with them that scares me. i love my job--puf has been the hardest but yet most rewarding job i could have ever asked for. though i have complained and struggled at times over the past two summers i truly believe it is where my heart is and where i can have the most impact and do what God wants me to do--that sounded really cliche. if i get hired again and get hired as puf again i would be only the 2nd person to be puf for 3 summers-the only other person, J.P. one of the only other female pufs (i don't know if mandy counts cause i wasn't sure when she did it...) i have a passion for what i do, i love the behind the scenes stuff and i love getting people what they need...that's one of the reasons why i want to be a teacher. my only hope and prayer is that each member of that interview team can understand my thoughts and understand where i need to be this summer. the summer is all about the kids, it always has been and i can only hope to make the best possible impact on these kids in whatever aspect possible.

a family that makes a difference...

stole from myspace

1. Do you like blue cheese? in dressing yes, but on it's own nope
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? nope
3. Do you own a gun? a bb gun...but it's old and in crossville
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? cherry-but only to diet dr pepper
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? depends on the doctor...
6. What do you think of hot dogs? love em'-especially when they are rolled in ketchup and rolled in cornflake crumbs and cooked...
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Home Alone (Original and 2) and Elf
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? milk or coffee
9. Can you do push ups? real ones or "girl ones"...
10. What would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? ...you're in...
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my diamond cross drewby gave me
12. Favorite hobby? depends on my mood--at the moment it's scrapbooking
14. Do you have A.D.D.? not diagnosed...but people say I am...
15. What's one trait you like about yourself? I know what i want out of life...and im not afraid to work for it
16. Middle name: Joy
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment...-is it really 6:30 already, that praxis test was expensive ($130 for one out of 4 tests), i have to pee...
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.-my mom bought me clothes from gap outlet...other than that i didn't buy anything
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? water, coffee, more water
20. Current worry? the homework i have to do over spring break
21. Current hate right now? people not doing their job...
22. Favorite place to be? East TN
23. How did you bring in the New Year? at home in bed...post-op Bordem
24. Where would you like to go? somewhere...
25. Name three people who will complete this? i really have no idea...
26. Do you own slippers? yup
27. What shirt are you wearing? an alpha gam shirt i got on ebay and my lakeshore hoodie
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? i don't know, i never have
29. Can you whistle? not really
30. Favorite color? at the moment, pink
31. Would you be a pirate? probably not
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? whatever is stuck in my head...
33. Favorite girl's name? Grace, Taylor
34. Favorite boy's name? Jackson, Connor, Leif
35. What's in your pocket right now?nothing
36. Last thing that made you laugh? listening to my grandmother...
37. Best bed sheets as a child? TMNT
38. Worst injury you've ever had?do my cronic knee problems count...already 3 surgeries...
39. Do you love where you live? Jackson-sort of, Memphis-hate it
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
41. Who is your most talkative friend?Amanda
42. How many dogs do you have? 2
43. Does someone have a crush on you? he better...
45. what are you doing other than this? t.v.
46. Who were you in the car with last? my mom and grandmother
47. Favorite Sports Team? Memphis and Tennessee
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? i don't know
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? watching law and order marathon and homework
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? what time is it