let go and let God!

being in college is getting old, dealing with drama is getting old, having teachers read word-for-word the syllabi's for the class is getting old, buying textbooks is getting old, everything right now just seems to be getting old. i miss church, i miss being at home, i miss freedom of getting to drive my own car, i miss getting up and down stairs with ease, i miss actually getting to see drew for more than 45 min at a time, i miss my youth, i miss the paycheck, i miss my work study, i miss my dogs, but more importantly i miss peace...

the past few days has made my emotions go crazy-i have been incredibly happy, then very sad, to boiling mad, to frustrated, to disappointed, to upset, then back to disappointed, to content, to entertained--the whole gamet of emotions i have gone through in the past few days. i really hope that a few certain people read this blog and understand where i am coming from. there comes a time where things just start to make sense-things tend to fall into place, priorities get a little easier to see and understand and i only think this comes from experiences, from having to go through all the above mentioned emotions learning something and growing from them. i know that the drama, the problems are always going to be there-as a teacher i will see it and be in the middle of it on a regular basis but as i do get a little older i realize that you just have to "grow up, make a friend, and get a life" you have to "let go and let God" and my favorite "you have to be a duck and let all of it role off your back"...dealing with all of the things that have happened in the last few days has made me realize this even more-every one is different, people will not react to different situations in their own way and both parties must learn to not try to fix everything, must learn not to control every issue and thing that comes up, each person on both sides of the issue must understand that the most important thing is to take care of yourself first then then focus on doing your job-and only your job...then in a situation where someone else needs help, help out-don't control...

i feel like i am up on a soapbox and i don't want to be...i just feel like all the advice my mother has given me over the past few years is actually working, she really does know best, my mom knew what she was talking about when i was so frustrated in high school and even the past 3 years of college...i never thought i would say that, i always thought that she was just saying these things to make me feel better, to make me respect her, to make me think highly of her, to make me forget about what i was originally angry about....but as the phrase says, hindsight is 20/20...and that is so true!!!

my only hope, my only prayer, my only wish is that someone else, some certain people can understand this, can understand where to draw the line and not cross it...